hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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