South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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