Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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