the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Drunk is a universal language darling
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