If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
His nipple licking is glorious
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