I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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