Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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