well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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