Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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