Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
soo... how was my night?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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