he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
