the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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