Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
