I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
