And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize