what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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