whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
