I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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