so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sext me about skeletons
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
