This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
