Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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