Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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