saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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