Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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