is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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