The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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