margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
