But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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