how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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