Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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