she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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