You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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