When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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