Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
