oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
