You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
