So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
