I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize