'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
