i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
