no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
