Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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