I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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