Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
