I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
