covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
