4 words: hood of his car
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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