i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize