whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
