Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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