chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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