are you still at the devil's house?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
