Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
