i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
