I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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