I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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