My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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