That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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