she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
