P.S. I can't hear my feet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
