The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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